The Angelic Me and The Devilish Me...

Day by day passes...
And I thought I could leave all the sadness behind me,
But I was wrong, really wrong!
People around me meaning that it could be my friends, coursemates or acquintances but not my family members nor my relatives are behaving very strange to me...
I don't know is it just me who's thinking too much but I feel that they are isolating themselves from me...
I'm not sure about the reason or reasons but my instincts tells me that it's because I often refused to go out with them...
It's not that I don't want to hang out with you guys and gals...
it's just that I'm not able to because of certain reasons...
I know that you think that I'm very anti-social because of that...
Now in class when I try to join into your conversations you ignore my presence...
Why? I'm not someone who's anti-social!
I know sometimes I might seem to be anti-social because I seldom talk...
I kept quiet most of the time because I was too shy and too afraid of rejection!!!
I'm afraid that you'll ignore me again!
I wanted badly to be around you my coursemates...
Please do not leave me alone...
I feel so left out by all of you...
I feel that I don't belong with all of you...
What should I do?
I already tried my best to talk to you but why are you still leaving me aside?
Now I wonder whether should I join all of you again in next semester or should I just join another course and make new friends there???


The Angelic Me says...
Well, it's good to join other courses and to mix with different people since I'm in a business programme... I should learn how to mix well with others if I could not mix well with certain people.
Never give up Angeline!
This is not the end of the world or the end of your life yet!!!
If they don't want to mix with you, it's their loss not yours!
You can always mix with new people from other courses!!!
Don't worry, God is just testing you!
God wants to see how strong are you when you are faced with difficult situations!!!
Do more good deeds and avoid doing the bad ones!
Then you shall be surrounded by the people you want or long to be with!
In addition, you'll always be blessed with tons and tons of GOOD LUCK!
Be more open then you'll not suffer that much of pain...
Love yourself!
Don't let anyone to hurt you in anyways!
Smile girl SMILE!!! :)
You'll be alright!
Nothing's gonna stop you from being HAPPY!!! :D
Just live your life as you want it to be !
Don't be saddened by what others had done to you before!
Don't be saddened by all the negative things that has or had happened to you before!
Remember have faith in yourself!
Life can be full of obstacles but never let these obstacles to stop you from achieving the goals and the things you want in life!
Obstacles help us to grow stronger!!!
So, just lead the life you've always wanted happily and treat those challenges optimistically!!!
Bear in mind that YOU ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST!!! :D

The Devilish Me says...
You are just a coward!
You dare not face the reality!
You have no confidence in yourself!
You are just a loser!
You can't mix well with your new coursemates!
It shows that you can't mix well with people!!!
You are so dependent on others !
People like you are really a pain in the ass!
You're just too silly, too dumb and too useless!
You have no guts to live the life you've always wanted!
Changing to a different course doesn't means that you can mix well with others it means that you are trying to avoid yourself from your coursemates!
COWARD!!!
You're just too COWARD to face the truth that you've been abandoned by your coursemates!
Shame on you!
Pathetic girl!
Trying your best to act strong when you couldn't even speak for yourself!!!
How pathetic???!!!
Shame on you!!
So afraid that everyone would look down on you and yes they do!
Shame on you!!!
You're just as useless as a piece of shit, Aren't you???
No matter how hard you try, you can never succeed!!!
That's the fact!!!
C'mon you can never do any better than a loser!!!
Just accept the fact!
Loser!


ps: Am I really that useless???
Can I live the angelic side of me only???
The devilish side of me is too harsh...
I could not take it even if it's true...
What do you think???
Shall I change to a new course or shall I just stay with my coursemates till I graduate???